Foster parents for older children serve a vital role in our community
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Op-Ed by CCC staff Toosdhi Jackson and Jennifer Ward
A loving and stable family home provides a critical foundation for children to thrive and mature into adults. If we recall our own childhoods, a nurturing home environment was central to our development as young adults. Those formative years between 12 and 18 are especially crucial for our growth.
Sadly, thousands of children in Virginia are still searching for a permanent home. According to the Virginia Department of Social Services, there are more than 5,500 kids in the foster care system across the state.
May marks the annual recognition of National Foster Care Month and is an ideal time to raise awareness about children in foster care and honor foster parents, kinship caregivers and the professionals who help these kids.
When asked about foster care, the first perceptions most people register often reinforce stereotypes about troubled kids. The reality is quite far from that misconception.
The vast majority of kids who find themselves in foster care are here not because of their behavior, but rather because they have been put in very difficult and challenging situations beyond their control. Their tenacity and resilience in the face of so much pain or struggle are inspiring.
In the Richmond region, kids in foster care are increasingly older. For example, in the programs that Commonwealth Catholic Charities operates, we support a number of children in foster care, some from our local communities and some who speak different languages and experience different cultures. In the past six months, 80% of the referrals for foster care have included kids over 15 years old. In CCC’s Richmond region foster care programs, over 70% of the kids are 12 years or older.
Unfortunately, the stigma around older kids in foster care makes placements more challenging for this group. There is a severe shortage of foster parents in Virginia, especially for kids who are 12 or older.
There are immense benefits to fostering a child, particularly older kids. As any parent understands, as kids age, they become more self-sufficient. No need to worry about diapers, daycare, toilet training or constant care.
Likewise, as kids mature, there’s the ability to connect on a deeper and more profound level. Older kids can articulate their goals, what hopes and dreams they have for the future, and their interests. Foster parents for older children can help nurture their growth and help the kids transform into adults. Many foster parents of older children share how meaningful it is for them to have thoughtful conversations and see these kids grow into adults.
Additional benefits include a deep sense of purpose and impact that come from meaningful relationships with foster children and the opportunity to create a safe, loving home environment. Foster parents also frequently report experiencing personal growth in terms of patience, empathy and resilience.
Ultimately, the joy of seeing children grow, heal and thrive is hard to capture fully. It’s a transformative experience for the foster children and parents!
Sure, there are challenges with older kids in foster care. Those challenges are the same with all tweens and teenagers. Just like raising your own child, parenting is hard work, but so rewarding.
There is a substantial need for more individuals and families in our region and across Virginia to support older kids in foster care. That calling can look different to various people and situations. You could explore serving as a foster parent or offering support to foster families. You could consider being a respite parent or resource parent as well.
When someone explores foster care, there’s no hard sell or push to make you uncomfortable. Fostering needs to work for both the parent and child. The goal is always a long-term, stable and loving home. Everyone needs to feel comfortable and ready for that commitment.
Do you feel a calling — or even an inkling — to change a child’s life? Maybe serving as a foster parent could be a good fit.
Learn more about being a foster parent online or reach out to explore this further. Take that first step during National Foster Care Month and help to ensure all kids in Virginia have a loving and stable home.
Toosdhi Jackson is the director of children’s services, and Jennifer Ward is the program manager for foster care at Commonwealth Catholic Charities. Both are based in CCC’s Richmond office and have more than two decades of experience serving foster care youth and families.